The Coping Club: Boundaries
Topic: Boundaries
The Stress Bucket - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1KYC5SsJjx8
Personal boundaries are guidelines, rules or limits that a person creates to identify reasonable, safe and permissible ways for other people to behave towards them and how they will respond when someone passes those limits.
Brene Brown on Boundaries - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TLOoa8UGqxA
Fact: Boundaries aren’t mean or wrong. It’s kind and respectful to tell people what’s okay and what’s not okay with you. This sets clear expectations. According to Brene Brown, Ph.D., people with strong boundaries are the most compassionate.
Struggling with boundaries looks like:
- Struggling to say no when you want to
- Not listening to yourself/ going against your judgment
- Indecision for fear of letting others down
- Giving in too easily
- Not being clear with others
- Subordinating your needs to others
- Withholding from others
- Closing self off from connection
- Struggling to reach out
- Struggling to make meaningful connections
Why is it important to set boundaries at work?
It's important to set boundaries at work in order to maintain a good work-life balance and raise your work satisfaction. Setting boundaries at work involves establishing personal goals and limits that you share with your colleagues in order to keep good mental health practices while working.
Benefits
- Raises productivity: we can focus on your own tasks and avoid workplace distractions
- Lowers work-related stress: manage many workplace issues by establishing limits and boundaries
- Maintains a reasonable workload: helps you focus on your job responsibilities and work a fair amount of hours
- Reduces the risk of burnout: Setting boundaries related to these causes can lessen the risk of burnout
- Sets an example for others: may lead to a happier workplace culture
Physical Boundaries
- Physical boundaries relate to your physical workspace and your body. These rules establish your expectations for how people interact with you, and they often relate to space and touch. Examples of physical boundaries include:
- Respecting personal choice regarding PPE (eg. masks, shields)
- Shaking someone’s hand rather than hugging them
- Closing your office door to signal that you are busy/on a call
- Going for a solo break during lunch
- Asking for help with physical tasks when needed
Emotional Boundaries
Emotional boundaries help you process your emotions at work. They help you separate your feelings from how someone else may feel without negating the need for empathy. Examples of emotional boundaries include:
- Avoiding engaging in someone’s bad mood
- Reflecting on our own emotions and how we are expressing them
- Choosing appropriate disclosure and with who (eg. co-worker, client/patient)
- Talking to your manager about how you prefer to receive feedback
Mental Boundaries
Mental boundaries support your mental energy and help you focus when working. They typically relate to your opinions, thoughts and values at work. Examples of mental boundaries include:
- Establishing the set hours you work (eg. leaving work on time)
- Not gossiping with colleagues at work
- Setting time in your calendar indicating that you're busy
- Prioritizing your own needs (eg. not accepting overtime)
- Work/life balance (eg. take your vacation)
- Consider where you are burning your mental energy (home vs work)
Be Assertive
- Be as clear and as straightforward as possible. Remain calm. Be mindful to focus on the problem/challenge rather than the person
- State your need or request directly in terms of what you’d like, rather than what you don’t want or like.
- Accept any discomfort that arises as a result, whether it’s guilt, shame, or remorse
Set Priorities
In order to set boundaries, it's helpful to first consider what your priorities are. This can include identifying both your personal and professional priorities,
- Example: You leave work on time so that you can prioritize spending time with family in the evening.
- Spending too much time in meetings, committees rather than doing patient care
Understand Your Workload
It's important to understand the tasks that comprise your workload as well as the number of daily duties you can reasonably handle. Understanding both of these aspects can allow you to set better boundaries regarding your job tasks and help you remain productive throughout the workday.
- Consider timing how long it takes you to complete tasks or counting how many tasks you can complete per workday. This can help you establish a regular working pace and help set expectations for your role.
Set Limits
- Leaving work on time
- Not bringing work home
- Not taking on over-time
- Caseload, tasks, meetings
- Identify your job responsibilities
When establishing boundaries at work, be sure to identify your job responsibilities in order to set limits that don't interfere with your duties. This practice also may allow you to notice if you're taking on additional responsibilities without credit. Discuss your responsibilities with your supervisor to ensure that you're continuing to meet their expectations and negotiate any additional accommodations you may need to set healthy work boundaries.
